Way to ring in Veterans’ Day, Patraeus. I suffer this weird bipolarity with our military. I have had the luxury of becoming mostly pacifist. But, I also have this great guilt and reverence for their service. Much of my family has served honorably, even through the conflict in Iraq. And, as trite as it is […]
Author: The Fresh Junket
Color My Map
My wife couldn’t get over John King’s hands. (King, along with Wolf Blitzer, is one of CNN’s main electoral analysts on election night.) They were frozen in a sort of claw position no matter the gesture. I told her, “Uh. Everyone knows the molded action-figure-finger is the optimal hand positioning for manipulating the Magic Board.” […]
Nail Biter
This is my electoral prediction for tonight. I’m predicting a Romney upset in Ohio and Virginia but that President Obama holds onto Pennsylvania and Colorado, and the White House, barely. Ohio and Virginia (and PA) are places precisely where voter energy and turnout has been overestimated in Obama’s favor. I do not think that Obama […]
Done and Done
What a great American tradition. Love it. And, don’t think I wasn’t profiled and intimidated! Check back for more election coverage tonight. I hope to be bringing you all the breaking news from in front of an enormous digital 3-D American Flag and bald eagle. And yes I only have one outfit. But, what’s more […]
What it tis it taint and what taint it tis
There is a quantum principle that says you can’t know the velocity and the location of a subatomic particle at the same time. You can know one attribute or another but not both simultaneously. And they (as in smart theoretical physics dudes) swear it’s not a technological issue. The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle is an immutable […]
The Rule of Two
We were warned. There are always two. Apprentice and Master. We thought George Lucas was the Master. The genius who brought us the greatest Sci-Fi universe ever conceived. But, in the immortal words of Ben Kenobi, “There is another.” And, so apparently George was only a kind of Lord Vader to Disney’s Emperor. Which makes […]
Mayhem
What a week. First, no pun intended, but I’ve been way under the weather. Second, according to national news accounts a guy in a ski mask stole my SSN from the South Carolina Department of Revenue. Is that because it’s actually unseasonably cold in his apartment that he wears a ski mask or are cyber […]
Oh No They Didn’t
Don’t think I won’t blong slap the people who did this to me and my South Carolina confederates. There are only like 4.7 million of us. So, they e]]><![CDATA[ssentially have ALL our SSNs. I'm seriously stunned. If anyone tries to pass themselves off as theipoetlaureate, make him freestyle the preamble to the Constitution. If he […]
Un Rey Sin Corona
I know you’d probably prefer a blong about Social Security administrative law or the rise and fall of sharecropping or why cuts bleed than to hear a song about baseball. But, I love it and the World Series started two nights ago. So, just prepare yourself for some pick-in-the-eye boredom. One of the most rare […]
A Win Win: The Final 2012 Presidential Debate
Don’t miss it, America. If you’re too frustrated or cracking too many jokes or screaming at your TV too loudly, you’re going to miss the most important takeaway of these debates: Both of these men can run our country. They have different policies and different philosophies and different annoying mannerisms. The “Excuse me, I’m still […]
modern personal publishing 